For those of you who have never been dog parents, the ugly truth nobody tells you about is that they have anal sacs that can smell like the Third Circle of Hell. And I don’t mean to shame Miles, but his A.S. have a lot of issues.
So anyway, I’ll spare you the stinky details but basically Miles is not allowed to park his butt on any part of the couch, other than the designated pillow we’ve trained him to stay on. Sometimes he forgets, but for the most part, he loves his $18 Amazon couch bed (they no longer make the one he has, but here’s an updated version from the same company).
For two years, that bed didn’t move and thus it caused a pet-bed-shaped-tan on the couch from the sun damage. For two years, it’s been driving me nuts — that, plus the denim/linen faded so much it looked like a saggy pair of old jeans (and not in a good way). We haven’t had this Newport Sectional couch that long (I bought it sight-unseen during the height of the pandemic) and West Elm wouldn’t sell me new covers. The L-shaped/chaise cushion is such that I can’t just flip it over, like I can with the other seats cushions.
For the past year, I’ve been served several ads for Nolan Interior “magic sofa covers” for dogs. Reddit scared me into believing this was a potentially sketchy/scammy company that would never stop texting/emailing me if I ever ordered from them, so I got a knockoff from Amazon where I could at least return it if it didn’t work out. Here’s what the other brand (called “Prince Deco”) looked like when they arrived:
I was expecting to hate them, but I actually really liked them. The pix make them look worse than they do in person. They washed easily and I was surprised that I didn’t mind the faux velvet look at all. And the best part was that they covered the sun stain/discolored/wrinkled linen upholstery.
Unfortunately, Abe did NOT like these covers. He said they felt too hot against his skin. So I returned them, then finally caved and bought the original sofa covers advertised to me, since they had a new “Airflow” material that was supposed to be cooling. I used my own affiliate link to get a discount and they arrived from China pretty quickly.
This time I was the one who didn’t like them. They were indeed much cooler on the skin than the previous velvet ones, but they were also so thin that they scratched/pilled immediately (and this was without Miles’ nails on them). Plus, you could see every little bump/bulge underneath. I contacted Nolan Interior for a refund — usually you have to pay a restocking fee but I asked for them to waive it, considering the product arrived damaged and I wasn’t interested in an exchange. They made me send pix and I did — and told me I didn’t need to return them. (FYI their customer service was excellent and they have not been spammy at all.) And so I am not keeping them on our sectional, as they have only gotten more scratched up/pill-y/lint-y but I AM going to keep them for a future Airbnb/hotel stay so Miles can go on the sofa without me worrying.
There you have it. I hope this honest review helps you make an informed decision before you spend the time/money on these “magic” sofa covers. I probably should just get my sofa reupholstered, but now I’m extra afraid I’ll do it and they’ll still be too hot to sit on. So I’ll continue living with the saggy, sun-tanned cushions and try to do better when we buy another sofa years from now…
🦮 Speaking of social media and dogs (obviously this is only happening because I look at Miles’ social media feed) I bought this hands-free leash by Sunny Tails (which is women/AAPI owned) to help with his pulling and I absolutely love it. It’s a lot cuter and fits my tastes more so than the other options I’ve seen (which all look like Miles and I are going to scale a mountain together). I mean, he definitely still pulls but now it’s against my entire body weight and not just my arm.
FYI I bought it off of the company’s TikTok shop, because they were having a huge sale there at the time. So some internet dog things do work out.
This is super useful to child-free cat ladies as well, because you know I'm getting all sorts of stuff pushed on me from Bixby's social feed and those covers have been tempting. (You can't train cats to stay off the sofa... or anywhere.)
Those anal glands 😵💫