One reason I started this Substack was because I wanted a place to share honest recommendations about all the products I love. AKA INFLUENCING. It was never to make money, although it was definitely to get SWAG.
I love free stuff.
But nothing is actually “free.” As someone who has been publicizing my thoughts for over 15 years, I’ve grown tired of influencer culture, and even more tired of influencer culture criticism. I’ve been on both sides of it.
I started blogging in 2009. Everyone looked at me like I was bananas whenever I took my Nikon out to photograph meals. There weren’t even cameras on phones yet! I put sidebar ads on my Wordpress blog The Actor’s Diet, went to (and spoke at) blogging conferences, and signed contracts with brands for sponsored content.
I loved the additional income and all the freebies (and the genuine friendships I’ve made). But I did not love how limiting things quickly became with required language, talking points, and pretending I was cool with something, even if I wasn’t. I also hated the game of figuring out how to grab/keep my audience’s attention as the algorithms grew and evolved. I hated the value placed on follower counts, views and likes (I still hate this).
As an actress who does commercial work, I’m 100% cool with pretending I like something for a paycheck. Because it’s acting! It’s a role/part. A whole team comes up with that fake world for me to play in, and my job is to sell it. It’s something that I’ve been doing professionally for several decades. Some years, it pays for my healthcare and also, my pension. I actually love doing it when I’m lucky enough to book work.
But when it’s me, as myself, in my own bathroom half naked in a towel, telling you in my own words what I think of a serum…. when it’s “INFLUENCING” — I just want to be ME. I’m just not at the level where anyone’s paying me anywhere near enough to read off a script and hit talking points. And I’m really not interested in getting to that level. Not right now. Especially given my ever-evolving relationship with social media.
(Here is the footage of what we shot for IWMYM that I had to cut.)
This is why what I write/say needs to be protected. Because the line between blogging me/influencing me and acting me/selling me is blurry. If I want to be honest (and I do), I need to shield my posts.
And so, I’m turning the paywall back on and archiving most of my blogs soon after they’ve been emailed/gone live. Publishing frequency won’t change. It’s less to make money and more to safeguard my thoughts from random strangers. If you’re a free subscriber you’ll still be getting the public posts, but I would suggest keeping emails or taking notes if you want to revisit something later.
FOR A FREE SUBSCRIPTION
If you can’t afford to pay right now just contact me via this form with your Substack email. You don’t need to go into the reasons why — trust me, I get it. But I do want to make sure you are enjoying the blog already. It’s so much more important to me that you actually like reading it.
Also, if you’re a paid subscriber to THE YELLOW PAGES let me know and I’ll comp you for the remainder of your subscription here as well.
If you’d rather show your support with a ❤️ at the bottom, that’d be nice, too.
I will continue to post affiliate links and accept free gifts from companies — even though I’ve just said it’s not about the money, it also is. I’ve heard people say “For the price of a coffee you can get a whole month’s worth of writing!” Right now, what I make on Substack from paid subscriptions/affiliate links is juuuust enough to buy myself that coffee every day — so thank you to everyone who has sacrificed their monthly cup for me. It’s like a small carrot dangling on a stick to keep me motivated (I also eat baby carrots every night). But the amount of time I put into “creating content” should be worth more than a few Starbucks, and at some point (maybe in the near future) I’ll have to figure this monetary balance out.
As a writer/actress/filmmaker/artist — making a living has always been hard, but it’s only getting harder. I think the SAG/AFTRA/WGA strike shined a light on that for many who aren’t in the entertainment industry. And the definition of what a “working actor” is has changed drastically from what it used to be.1
When it comes to asking for/accepting gifts from PR, I like trying out things from brands I either already love or am curious about. I have turned down a lot of freebies from places that don’t make sense or give me a bad vibe, and am always upfront and tell them that I don’t do sponsored posts. If I do accept something then I ask for 1. no language requirements 2. the understanding that I am going to be honest. That said, I try not to be mean (especially if I’ve requested the product). And so, if you see that something has been “gifted” — always keep in mind that I’m trying not to be an asshole. But also, if I’m posting it with my eyes wild with excitement — that’s not acting — that’s really me, excited.
Brands call this “authenticity.” They love authenticity. But they also love a robust following and high engagement. That’s what makes collabs worth it to them. Personally, I avoid stats. I do this even when nobody’s watching. Maybe this is why I’m uncomfortable calling myself an “influencer.” Influencers are like businesses — they need to know how far they reach and how to grow. I don’t want to place value on that. I don’t want my growth to come from external validation.
But I do want an engaged audience that trusts what I’m saying. My favorite thing is hearing from readers in real life. Also, when a non-reader asks me where I got something, or what my skincare routine is — I’m grateful for this blog because I’m able to tell them easily (since the words have been processed/written out already/I can easily search to find the links). It’s like my journal. Yeah, this is my journal! For now. Journals need locks on them. It’s why I’ve taken down most of my YouTube vlogs (they still live here, though).
I just really love blogging. As I said, it’s been my main form of creative expression for 15 years. If you’ve made it all the way here to the end of this post, thank you! I appreciate you being here.
Carrots, Coffee, and Kisses.
For anyone who wants to know more, my former acting teacher/legendary casting director Risa Bramon Garcia did a podcast about the state of show business today.