I Got Married to The Muppets Take Manhattan

20 years ago!

Priest: Then because you share a love so big, I now pronounce you frog and pig.

- The Muppets Take Manhattan, 1984

Our Relationship History

I met my husband Abe our junior year at Wesleyan University. We were the first of our friends to get married and were on a budget.

We registered at Bed Bath and Beyond/Target (no offense to those places¹ but I deeply regret not registering someplace more $$$ like Williams Sonoma). We didn’t hire a photographer or a florist. We didn’t provide any dinner — when I told my mother we would serve appetizers and provide a cheese platter instead, she declared, “CHINESE PEOPLE DON’T EAT CHEESE!”

We wanted to keep costs low for the wedding party as well. I had a sleepover with seven-layer-dip and Abe went out for pizza in Greenwich Village. We printed/cut our hand-drawn invitations at Kinkos (now FedEx). We put all of our energy/money into the main event at The Screening Room, the movie theater/restaurant we rented for the day — a compilation of wedding scenes from various films, complete with a celebrity cameo and homemade trailers.

My $50 Wedding Dress

I was thrilled when I found my wedding dress on the final clearance rack at Loehmann’s — a discount designer department store I often visited after my temp job at a temp agency (not a typo) in the Empire State Building. It was Nicole Miller, several sizes too big, but deeply discounted for $50. I couldn’t resist. I spent much more money on the alterations and proper undergarments for it.

Here’s me trying the dress on again for the first time in 20 years.

After two decades of sitting in a plastic bag on a wire hanger, I wasn’t surprised to see some staining/yellowing on the dress. I used thick silicone cutlets to fill out my now smaller chest, but would need a strapless bra to keep them in place. Or, a version that is sticky (like these Nippies Nipple Covers, which I love) but with extra padding.

All in all, I was still very happy with my dress and how I looked in it, but I can’t say the same for the cheap David’s Bridal veil. I had bought that on a whim, wanting a headpiece to make my dress look more “bridal” — but only wore it 30 minutes, for the ceremony. Mental note: Should I ever get married again, no cheap veils.

Now that my old wedding gown fit (sorta) I was curious to see if Nicole Miller still made anything that would suit my current tastes. I cannot say that I fancied her selection on Amazon. However, I dug a few of these Reformation white and ivory dresses, and would happily purchase any today.

My Wedding Makeup and Hair

There was no way I could have splurged on a professional, so I did it all myself. This was before the time of YouTube tutorials and DryBar appointments. If I could do it all again, I would’ve used a good primer to keep my shadow in place, blotting sheets for the oil, and some texturizing spray for oomph and hold. But I think I still looked the way I wanted to. I’m so impressed with my natural brows!

Half our pictures are blurry. We really should’ve used a professional photographer.

Our Wedding Cake

We lived in Astoria, Queens at the time, and asked our local cafe/bakery (Pando) to make one. Strawberries and whipped cream — I prefer chocolate, but it made more sense with the white fondant. They decorated a small round one for show, and we cut slices to serve from a large sheet cake. Somehow, someone (not me) remembered to save one piece for our anniversary, which we wrapped in two layers of tinfoil and a ziplock bag. A year later in the freezer, it tasted great! I still save all my pastries using this method.

The Muppets Take Manhattan wedding scene was a huge part of our “ceremony.” We used Miss Piggy/Kermit the Frog Pez Dispenser heads as the cake toppers.

A few months after our wedding, Pando Cafe/Bakery closed. As did The Screening Room, which is now home of the Tribeca Film Festival. All of this happening before our first anniversary felt like a bad omen. But… 20 years later, we’re still so happily married.

Me and Abe back at college, in the same spot of our very first kiss.

Abe and I are going back to Wesleyan this Friday for a screening of my directorial debut I Will Make You Mine (which he edited) on campus. He got me a special gift in honor of our 20th anniversary that I’ll be sharing more about in a future post.

1. For paid subscribers, I’ll be sending a separate email with my Target Spring designer drop picks very soon!