An Apology to My Husband, Part II

And, how to style an ugly shirt.

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I know this is going to feel like an April Fool’s Day post. But I assure you, it is not.

Last week, I apologized to my husband on his birthday for making him donate a shirt he loved in college. My guilt and shame were so stuck in the 90s that it did not even occur to me to utilize existing technology to find it.

An Apology to My Husband on His Birthday

But lucky for me, several of my brilliant readers DID think to reverse google search the shirt image, and one of them¹ sent me all the shopping links immediately!!!

The shirt that would fit Abe was on Ebay. And I had just missed purchasing it. But the one on Poshmark was still available, at half that price.

And it was in my size.

I ordered it as soon as Abe left to walk our dog Miles that Tuesday morning. I wanted to surprise him by wearing it. So in the days that passed while I waited for its delivery, I tried not to bring up the shirt, or penguins, or anything that would lead him to ask what he asked me on Thursday:

“Did you ever do a reverse google search on the image?”

Now, I’ve been acting for almost four decades. You think I’d be able to improvise something brilliant. But in real life, I’m actually a terrible liar. And this is what I said instead: “I don’t want to talk about it.” Which of course, confused Abe, so I blurted out: “STOP TALKING.” He told me that hurt his feelings, but ha ha! I got him off the subject of google searching the shirt!

Cut to… four days later. The shirt arrives! I have successfully avoided any mention of marine birds, or mounting Abe’s suspicion. I spend hours figuring out how to tape the reveal. And then, after I had edited the video and gotten this post ready to send you all today — SOMETHING MAGICAL HAPPENED.

Watch the entire video til the end to see…

… or just look at this photo.

Yes. That’s right. There’s two of them. THE PERSON WHO BOUGHT THE EBAY SHIRT IN ABE’S SIZE WAS OUR FRIEND MELANIE.

I got rid of one ugly shirt in the 90’s and wound up with two in 2024.

And no matter what Marie Kondo espouses, we will NEVER ever part with them — even if mine brings me whatever the opposite of “joy” is. Even if I’m filled with venomous anger, or find the shirt uncomfortable, or unflattering… even if I spontaneously break out into a rash in ten years wearing it, I promise to have and to hold… in sickness and in health… yada yada yada.²

I will never knowingly get rid of either one.

And now… all that is left… is how THE F*CK to style mine.

Here’s a few ideas I came up with: 1. Pair with another print 2. Tuck into high-waisted jeans 3. Preppy style - a sweater and trousers in the same color family 4. Tied over a lace bra with sweater pants.

Apparently I can’t take a selfie without putting my hand in my pocket

… and you know what? I genuinely love it. 🐧❤️

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1. Thank you, Ting!!!

2. By the way, Abe and I didn’t even exchange vows at our wedding… WTF is happening to me?